One of the big changes in my life has been a career change.  I am now working as a Family Service Advisor for Dignity Memorial, which is the largest funeral services company in the North America.  We have over 2000 locations in the USA and Canada, including funeral homes and cemetaries.  Essentially, my job is a sales position.  While I provide follow-up care to families who have recently experienced a loss, my main role is to educate people on the importance of pre-planning for their future funeral needs and to help them to purchase what is best for them and their family. 

So many people have told me that they can’t imagine working in the funeral industry because it is too creepy and too depressing.  But really, that is not true.  After you begin to experience seeing dead bodies and helping grieving families, you get used to it and it all becomes very normal.  Death is something that happens to 100% of the people in this world so it is a positive thing to build a healthy understanding of death and not to live in fear of it. 

I have gotten a HUGE education on death in the past month since starting this position.  Part of what I want to do as I continue to blog (though it will definitely not be the subject of each entry) is to demystify the subject of death and to give a view into the funeral industry.  Along the way, I will also be providing helpful tips so that all of my readers can learn what they need to know when they face having to interact with a funeral home…because everyone will at some time or another.  I want everyone to be prepared for when that time comes.

So I’m back to blogging!

This is a short book (just 146 pages) and, as I understand it, a re-release of his book “The Barbarian Way”.  McManus has some great things to say in the pages of this book, though he leaves it to the reader to decide what it will look like in each of our lives for us to live in a barbarian way.

I give this book 4 stars out of 5.

I received a copy of this book free through Thomas Nelson’s Booksneeze program. I was not required to write a favorable review.

Benson writes with a very conversational style and the book is easy to read.  It is a short book and he tells lots of stories in the book, making what could be a boring subject very easy to study.  Those are the pros.  But…

I was very let down by this book.  I felt that I really didn’t learn much about the Daily Office at all and I didn’t learn much about how the practice of it would impact my life.  The gist of the impact, as told by Benson, is that the discipline of practicing the Daily Office would pay off by causing your heart and thoughts to be drawn to God throughout your day.  That is a very obvious statement…every spiritual discipline does that.  Beyond that point, the stories in the book were general encouragements all pointing to the same idea:  it is good to do the Daily Office.  So I felt that there was a lot of repetition of that one general idea rather than a deeper look at the practice.  Because of that, I finished the book without really feeling drawn to the practice.  I might try it out but my desire to do so isn’t because I felt so drawn to the practice because of the book.  The book only helped me to understand a little bit more about the structure of the Office, but was not a compelling encouragement to practice it.

I give “In Constant Prayer” 3 out of 5 stars.

I recieved this book for free through the BookSneeze.com blogger program.

I read an interesting post on a blog today by Rachel Held Evans.  It is entitled “Dear Pastors – Tell Us The Truth”.  In it, a letter is written from a congregation to their pastor.  Here is what the letter says:

Dear Pastors,

Tell us the truth.

Tell us the truth when you don’t know the answers to our questions, and your humility will set the example as we seek them out together.

Tell us the truth about your doubts, and we will feel safe sharing our own.

Tell us the truth when you get tired, when the yoke grows too heavy and the hill too steep to climb, and we will learn to carry one another’s burdens because we started with yours.

Tell us the truth when you are sad, and we too will stop pretending.

Tell us the truth when your studies lead you to new ideas that might stretch our faith and make us uncomfortable, and those of us who stick around will never forget that you trusted us with a challenge.

Tell us the truth when your position is controversial, and we will grow braver along with you.

Tell us the truth when you need to spend time on your marriage, and we will remember to prioritize ours.

Tell us the truth when you fail, and we will stop expecting perfection.

Tell us the truth when you think that our old ways of doing things need to change, and though we may push back, the conversation will force us to examine why we do what we do and perhaps inspire something even greater.

Tell us the truth when you fall short, and we will drop our measuring sticks.

Tell us the truth when all that’s left is hope, and we start digging for it.

Tell us the truth when the world requires radical grace, and we will generate it.

Tell us the truth even if it’s surprising, disappointing, painful, joyous, unexpected, unplanned, and unresolved, and we will learn that this is what it means to be people of faith.

Tell us the truth and you won’t be the only one set free.

Love,

The Congregation

So what do you think about the letter?  Do you feel the same way as the author of the letter?

Interestingly, author Adam McHugh responded to Ms. Evans’ letter.  Here is what he said:

So now you have two sides to this interesting discussion.  As a pastor, I understand and relate to a lot of the things that Mr. McHugh said in his response.

So what about you?  What are your thoughts on this issue?

“The Way Home” stars Dean Cain (of “Superman” fame) and is a true story.  This Christian-based movie chronicles the story of Randy Simpkins, whose son Joe, disappears one day as the family is getting ready to leave on a vacation.  The movie follows the Simpkins family and the rest of the community as they desperately search for Joe.  Ultimately, the story is about Randy, the dad who was too focused on work to make appropriate time for his family and his distraction is what led to the events surrounding Joe’s disappearance.

The storyline of this movie is good, though it seemed like way too much time was spent on the search for Joe.  The movie has great themes and the Christian faith is the basis of what gets this family through such a difficult time.  My one criticism of the movie would be the poor acting.  Dean Cain is a fine actor but many of the others in the film are not.  The woman playing Randy’s wife was not a good actress at all and her portrayal of a mother desperate to find her son was quite emotionless.  Because of the poor acting, the movie ended up being a cheesy Christian movie that was based on a compelling true story.

On a scale of 1-5 stars, I’ll give this movie two stars for the effort.

It is very easy to get comfortable in our middle-class lives in the suburbs of America and turn a blind eye to evil.  Evil exists in other parts of the world, right?  Evil exists in sick people like Hitler, right?  Unfortunately, the longer I am alive, the more I am beginning to come to terms with the old song by INXS called “Devil Inside”.  The words say, “Devil inside, devil inside, every single one of us, the devil inside.”  Evil is possible in the lives of everyone one of us and it isn’t just out there somewhere else in the world…evil in right in our neighborhood.

Kids in school are bullied because they are gay.  That’s evil.
Homicides are heard about in the local news on a regular basis. That’s evil.
Teenage girls are forced into prostitution right here in Portland/Vancouver. That’s evil.
Husbands verbally and physically abuse their spouses. That’s evil.

The list could go on and on.  Evil is everywhere.

As a pastor, I have worked with people who are incredibly scarred by the things that have happened in their lives.  How do I reconcile the evil that has been done to them?  What do I do when someone comes to my office and tells me that they were beaten and raped by a parent before their 10th birthday?  How do I come to grips with the story of a man I know whose father sold him for drug money to other men who would molest him when he was a child?  How do I encourage someone who has flashbacks due to abuse in their past?  What do you say to someone suffering from depression due to the constant beatings and being thrown into a wall as a kid?  These aren’t stories of “evil out there”…these are stories of how evil has affected people I know!

I’ve heard so many stories in my life.  I’ve grown accustomed to hearing people’s horror stories.  But sometimes, it gets to be too much and I am left feeling helpless and speechless.  Coming to terms with the reality of evil is difficult when it has affected people you know.

Those who haven’t experienced true evil could look at these people who are trying to cope with their existence and say, “Stop drinking.  Get over the sexual addiction.  Pick yourself up.  Get over it.  You just need Jesus.  Read your Bible and pray more and then you’ll get your life together.”  I’m sorry…those responses are just plain evil as well.  When you’ve come face to face with evil and it has negatively impacted your life, there are no easy answers.  Recovering from the evil takes time, love, and patience.

Today, I’m reeling from the evil I see that has happened in the lives of many people I know.  I can’t comprehend what they have been through.  But I’m willing to enter with them into their pain and help them to walk towards true healing.  It’s hard to come to grips with so much pain and evil in this world.  And I’m thinking that we all need to learn to be extra gracious towards those who struggle in life.  Unless you really get to know them, you may never know how much evil they have experienced in their lifetime.

9:00am    Check email and then write an article for our church newsletter

10:00am  Meet with and counsel a woman who have been involved in an affair

11:50am  Have lunch with 3 men from church…a last “hurrah” with a friend who is moving

1:30pm    Meet with a woman who is starting a new ministry to prostitutes in Portland

3:00pm    Pick up my kids from school

3:30pm    Do prep work for a small group that I lead

5:00pm    Prep dinner for family, do dishes, get my wife and son out the door to football practice

6:00pm    Recheck email, pause to breathe

7:00pm    Back at church to lead a sexual addiction support group

9:15pm    Head for home, feel emotionally drained, enjoy a little TV with the family, then crash into bed

So what do pastors do?  We invest in the real-life issues of the people in our church and walk with people on this journey called life.  It can be draining…but it is so rewarding!

As the book begins, Lucado draws the reader’s attention to the massive needs of mankind around the world.  Speaking of the lack of clean drinking water, hunger, disease, and all sorts of other issues in our world, Lucado grabbed me right from the start of this book.  I began to get excited about seeing how each of us can make a difference in this world…something that I am quite interested in.

But a few chapters into the book, I felt like his energy took a dive.  Lucado’s plan in this book was to chronicle the lives of the early disciples in the book of Acts and to extrapolate lessons learned from their lives to ours today.  They had turned the world upside-down and, hence, we can learn how to do the same in our time.  But unfortunately, sticking so closely to the Scriptural text and drawing lessons from some of the passages that really didn’t need a chapter in his book, caused the middle part of Lucado’s book to be an example of “Christian-Lite”.

As the book drew to a close, Lucado ramped it up again and ended with a bang…hitting home the awesome need for each of us to make a difference in our world.

Overall, I thought there were some very good chapters in this book…but some of the chapters fell a little flat.  I wish Lucado would have stayed on the subject that the beginning and ending of the book seemed to espouse.  The middle of the book just seemed like a loss of potential.  I would still recommend this book to those who would enjoy a “lite” challenge about impacting the world around you…which for much of the American Christian church, that will definitely scratch and itch.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

"The Butterfly Effect" by Andy Andrews

Andrews states, “Every single thing you do matters.  You have been created as one of a kind.  You have been created in order to make a difference.  You have within you the power to change the world.”  That premise is woven throughout the book and proven with several stories from history that will blow your mind.  You will be amazed at how the intentions and actions of certain people, unbeknownst to them, have changed the course of history.

As I was reading this book, I was totally motivated by the potential that I have…and the potential that each one of us has!  We never know just how our actions will affect people downline from us.  It very well could be that my actions today will profoundly impact not just the lives of others tomorrow…but possibly could even change the world.

You will be inspired, challenged, and encouraged by this book.  It’s one of those books that you should put on your coffee table for every guest in your house to read.  You never know…just reading it may change their lives!  I highly recommend this book!!!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

I lead the Freedom Ministries at our church, which is a group of ministries that provide help for people who are struggling with various issues in their lives.  One of the types of support groups we have is for men who are dealing with sexual addiction.  Recently at a group meeting, an individual (we’ll call him Mr. A) expressed that he had once again given in to a particular behavior that he did not want to participate in any longer but was struggling with stopping.  Another gentleman in the group (Mr. B) felt it would be helpful to press Mr A. to come up with boundaries to help him stop his behavior.  Mr. B kept pressing Mr. A in an attempt to provide some “accountability” for the guy.  This came about because Mr. B felt that he knew better how Mr. A should be handling the situation.

As I was watching this situation take place, I realized how much I have changed over the years.  There was a time years ago that I would have stressed such “accountability” as a means to help protect people from sin.  But the older I have gotten, the longer I have been in ministry, and the more experience I have in dealing with people, I realize that this type of accountability really doesn’t work.  No matter how many protective boundaries anyone puts around themselves, there will be no true change of behavior until the person WANTS to change.  And I’m not talking just lip service.  I mean a true at-the-core-of-their-being desire to change that comes about because they have come to grips with why they participate in the negative behavior in the first place.  Healing has to take place at the core of their being…that, in turn, will convert to desire…and that will change the behavior.  No accountability will work unless the person has had such a change in heart that they desire the accountability and will make it work for them.

So there are two applications to all of this.  First of all, if you are struggling with some kind of sin or behavior that is destructive to your life, the place to invest your time is in the healing of your heart so that you truly desire change.  You will never experience freedom until you experience healing.

Secondly, if you see somebody who is struggling with negative behaviors, don’t try to impose your idea of accountability on them.  You haven’t walked in their shoes.  You can’t control their heart or actions.  Offer to listen, to think through options, and guide them to getting healing.  If the person asks you to keep them accountable to something, then you can provide the accountability.  The difference here is that the accountability is coming from their desire for it and their desire to change…not from you because you think they should change.

Our role is to love people and to give them the space to work through these issues in such a way that they OWN their healing and growth rather than being forced into whatever change WE think they should have.

Make sense?  Any comments from your own experiences?